Sunday, November 16, 2014

What you won’t always see on my Facebook page

Let’s get real. 

Raw.

Honest.

The highlight reel of everyone’s Facebook newsfeed doesn’t show the whole story.

It shows my heart, my passion, my desires, my loves.

But it doesn’t always show my pain. 

For the past 11 days, I have been off all hormone therapy, trying to get my 31 year old body to wake up out of menopause.

And it hurts. A lot.

I have piercing pain in my abdomen and pelvis when I move a certain way, use the restroom, or my bladder feels too full.

Heat helps. Sometimes I stand in the shower under scalding hot water, trying to burn the pain away.

Just like the doctor tried to burn the disease away with his lasers and cut it out with his tools... time and time again.

I don’t share all this to gain sympathy. I share because I refuse to waste this pain and let it get me down. I will use it instead to help encourage others in their own trials. - encourage YOU. I know there are many dealing with this disease or other pains. I know I’m not alone.

So let’s get more real. 

I’ve been married for 13 days now (yay!).

We want to have a baby (hence getting off all medications).

But if you know this disease, you know this: sex hurts. A lot.

I’ll leave it at that because I believe some things needs to be private, but understand that this disease affects ALL areas of a women’s life and those around her. It is a crushing, debilitating, humiliating, painful condition.

I share this to be real, open, honest... knowing full well that posting something online will expose me to the judgements of others.

And that’s just fine.

Judge away. 

Because I know that someone, somewhere, needs to know that they are not alone with the pain they are going through. Someone needs to be encouraged and lifted up.

So to those who need it, take this: 

You are loved. You are precious. You are valuable. What you are going through today is not a reflection of your worth.

Take hold of that truth and believe it, my friend.

Keep on keepin’ on.

xoxo




2 comments:

  1. Ugh I know this pain too well!!! I wish you the best in your baby journey, Endo is so not fair and it ruins our lives!! Congrats on your wedding!!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Oh honey congratulations (again) on your marriage!! And I wish you all the best on your journey to mommyhood! If you have any questions regarding cycling or adoption, please ask me anything! I might not have all the answers but I have some insight! And may that little soul join you and your husband soon!!

    ReplyDelete