Friday, December 9, 2011

Crazy, stupid love

No, this post is not a movie review. It is a random post about my love life because I have been stuck indoors sick most of the day....and I’m probably thinking a bit too much for my own good.

My thoughts tonight have me convinced that everyone has a little bit of crazy in them. A little bit of out of control passion driving them to do things that others don’t understand. And LOVE - that life altering four letter word - brings out the best of the crazy in most of us, right??

Like earlier this year....

At a time when I was least expecting it--when I was sick, lonely, and on a treatment that put me through hormonal hell--I fell totally and completely in love. It was the head over heels, can’t sleep at night, consuming my thoughts kind of love. As much as I tried to resist it, I couldn’t.

Well, I don’t write about it often. It has been months since this stupid love snuck up on me and made me go a little crazy. To be honest, I thought I was over it for a little while. I thought I had moved on....

But while I was at home resting and trying to pass the time tonight, I realized something...

I haven’t let go. I haven’t been able to move on.

I’m still wrapped up in it, y’all.

No, not him.


Yes....I’m in love with my bike. I don’t just like it, I’m all out crazy for it. I want to be near it, talk about it and dwell upon it during every moment of every day. I want to get on my bike and ride off into the sunset forever. I want to gaze into distant horizons and whisper sweet nothings into its aero bars.

Destination? Anywhere.

Hills. Flats. Country. City. And even the trainer.

That’s the special thing about The Howitzer (yes, I’ve named it): I don’t need a place to go because riding is essentially flying through the air at ground level, just like I do in dreams — but real.

On Howie, pedaling through the country roads, I see things that I’ve never noticed before, even though I’ve driven down the very same streets a hundred times in my car. Flying on the saddle with my leg powered vehicle, I’m transported to a place that I’ve never been to. A place of freedom. The frustrations, losses, and past heartbreaks disappear. And I can just be.

The journey is always an adventure, wherever it may lead me. I soak everything in around me.

In the neighborhoods, odors of fried southern foods wander through the air. To add to the mix, people’s homes each have their own unique arrangement of smells: cedar wood, fresh laundry, chip bark, and sometimes children or animals are in the mix. Sometimes, even though I see nobody in sight, I smell a sweet perfume that has traveled on the breeze.

It sure beats the old sock funk that pours from my car’s heating vents.

In the chilly winter weather, my mind and body are not the only things running free. My sinuses pour out like I just used a neti pot. Howie doesn’t care though. Snots and all, he loves me back...

We are absolutely perfect for each other.

When the sun goes down and the street lights come on and everyone goes off into their homes, I want to carry on charging into the darkness just to feel the burn of cold air on my cheeks.

Yes. I’m crazy about my bike.

Which is why this Friday night, as I sit here typing, unable to ride because of a little bronchitis....

Only Howie is beside me.

People don’t understand my obsession with it. Guys think I’m insane when I turn down dates to spend time with it. They spout off questions like, “can your bike take you to dinner?” and “can you date your bike?”. Then they start mocking my love for a “machine”.

I really don’t care though.

They just don’t understand how good it feels to be riding. They just don’t understand this love.

Tonight I’ll go to bed, thinking & dreaming about when I can ride again. I’ll wake up at 3AM, get a drink of water, and check on Howie...before shuffling back to bed for a couple more hours.

It never fails.

Crazy, stupid love...  :)


  1. haha, it is fun to be obsessed with working out and the freedom it brings.

  2. Amen, mike! It’s pretty fun and hilarious when we realize just how crrrrrrrrazy people think we are over our sport. Haha

  3. Howie is very handsome. I can totally see why you've fallen for him.

  4. My family sometimes gets jealous of my bike(s), yes, there is more than one. Balance is challenging but I try my best :)

    BTW: You always remember the good smells when riding not the bad. I can still remember the smell of bacon during StA triathlon mid way through the bike. Almost worth doing it again.

  5. I have a pair of goggles that rocks my world!

  6. I found this post absolutely hysterical. Not because you are in love with your bike, but because I am also in love with my my bike and there are times during the summer when I think wifey gets especially jealous when I spend more time with "her" than .... um, her.

    Did your bike go to Hebrew school? Honestly, the Howitzer? Please explain!

  7. im in love too... mine is girl tho... is that weird? owell :) funny post- love it!

  8. I have a special relationship with my bike, Papa Smurf. Trust me, I get it. And yes, it's totally fine to have love affairs with inanimate objects!

  9. Colleen, I LOVE Papa Smurf! That name rocks!

    RockStar Tri, I agree with always remembering the smells!

    Mark, The Howitzer is the name of a type of cannon. I just like the idea of how it blows things up - kinda like my Howie on the hills. :)

  10. I have heard more then once "you love that bike more then me" cant say I denied it either

  11. One thing is for sure - Howie will never let you down, stand you up, or blow you off. I fully support this love! ;)

  12. Hey, thanks for stopping by my blog. It's appreciated. Sure, I'll share my nutrition plan but it looks like it's you who should be telling me if it's correct.

    You nailed the bike thing, I think. Though I got into triathlon via a need for fitness that originally started with running, an obsession with my bike and a love of the sport of cycling is what I will cay forward the longest I'm sure.

  13. haha, Thanks SIF! I totally agree, girl!!!

    BDD - that is awesome!!!

    Patrick, I like to hear about different plans. I’m...a tad...obsessed. hahaha

  14. You and your love should do a trip with us this summer!

  15. it's always refreshing for me to read/hear about this, b/c as you said, people who don't participate in our sport usually just don't understand why we love it so much....most of my co-workers,classmates,friends, family, etc think i'm crazy for letting a letting a short 1 hour bike ride spontaneously turn into a 3 hour ride that left me craving for more

  16. Not sure I'd call it a nutrition's just that for the next 4 weeks (3.5 now) I'm going to try and make 80% of my caloric intake protein. By week 5 I'll need more carbs as the training volume goes up quite a bit.

    I got lazy between September and Dec 1st and put on some weight. Wouldn't mind losing the weight plus another 5. Even at a ridiculously low body fat %% the best I could probably pull is 190 lbs. (I should have stuck with football) and since the backside of the Oceanside 70.3 course is quite hilly I'll take whatever weight advantage I can get.

    Backing the Oakenfold track BTW.

  17. Hi i’m Heather! I have a question for you! Please email me :)