Thursday, August 11, 2011

Memories--Pfc Joshua Jetton

Some of you know that my family lost an incredible brother, friend, and hero on June 20’th of this year. Josh was killed in Afghanistan, serving our country. We miss him so much. I don’t write about it on my blog much, but the sadness of his death has been something that I have been struggling with a lot. Training has helped me to keep busy and not think too much. The Branson 70.3 race is actually on Josh’s birthday -- September 18’th. I’m doing the race in his honor. Even though little things like that help and keep me going, it still hurts. 

I miss my family a ton right now. I know we are all grieving, but somehow it seems like it would be a little better being able to be there with them. To be around those that knew and loved Josh. To be able to share stories and memories. To be able to actually laugh with others when talking about him, instead of secluding myself and trying not to ever cry. 

Josh was a crazy kid, who somehow made every experience hilarious and memorable. We have a huge family - four brothers and two sisters. When we’re all together, it gets pretty intense, but fun. We are all so close. My sisters and brothers have been my best friends. My life. My world. And although Josh was not related to us all by blood, he fit right in. He lived with my family in Florida, living all the craziness with the rest of the gang. He was a part of our family. 

To be honest, I don’t know how to grieve. I don’t know how to deal with his death right now. Training is keeping me going. I love life. I love my family. I love training. I love being healthy. But I can’t shake this feeling--this sadness and loss. 

Next week, Alicia (Josh’s wife) is giving birth to their twins. My whole family will be there. My sis is flying down from NY. My other sis driving down from North Florida. My brothers are already there with her, loving in any way that they can. We adore and love Alicia. The twins are going to have a handful of crazy aunts and uncles! 

You know what? 

Josh was supposed to be coming home to be there too.

I want to be with my family, welcoming Josh and Alicia’s babies into the world. I want take a million pics (cause I’m like that) and care for the family in any way that I can. I want to be there so bad, but I can’t right now. I have too much going on here in Arkansas.  

I wrote a song a little while back, trying to deal with grief. It’s nothing amazing. Just me and the piano. I made a lil’ slide show with my song and some pics from our memories with Josh. I did it for Alicia, but I posted it up on FB and below. 

I wish I knew how to make this pain better. But obviously, I can’t. 




12 comments:

  1. That was beautiful Patty. It made me tear up. What a great tribute to your friend.

    It's never easy losing a loved one. You just have to take it one day at a time.

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  2. I have to keep reminding myself that--one day at a time. Thank you, Barbara.

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  3. My heart goes out to you friend. Josh sounds like an amazing human being. I appreciate his service to this country and it is wonderful that you got to experience how wonderful he was.

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  4. That's was beautiful video. Josh had a lovely spirit, and the love between him and Alicia was captured perfectly in the pictures. He was blessed to have had you and your family to be there for him....and to be for him (and Alicia) still.

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  5. Yeah, Josh and Alicia were so in love. She adored him! It was precious to see!

    Thank you for your comments. I’m glad that I could show you all a little part of such an amazing man who served our county.

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  6. That was such a beautiful tribute!! I am so sorry for your loss and your family's loss and of course, especially Alicia's!

    But when her babies arrive she will get to hold a little piece of him everyday.

    I think making that video for her is so amazing of you!

    Also, I think you posted singing that song in one of your very first posts.

    SO BEAUTIFUL!

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  7. I was tearing up without hearing the song ... It's a great thing that his children are coming into a family that is so close and will make sure that they know who their father was and the kind of man he was.

    I served in Desert Storm, and in the military for ten years. I have two sons serving right now (one just returned from 4th tour in Iraq and the other from his first in Afghanistan). I cannot imagine the grief you and your family are going through. It's people like you and your family that make the sacrifices we have made and are making worth while.

    My thoughts are with you and yours during this tough time.

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  8. Wow... what an amazing tribute and that song is beautiful.

    I hope you know how much you are loved and that we are all keeping you, your family and especially Alicia and that twins in our thoughts.

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  9. JC- thank you for serving our country! Thank you to your sons as well. The troops and your boys are always in my prayers--every single day.

    Michaela - the twins are here! the twins are here! They were born yesterday! And yes, Alicia will get to hold a piece of Josh every day with those babies. I can’t wait to see, hold, and kiss them! My family said they are soooooo beautiful!

    Colleen - thank you for your sweet words. Thank you so much.

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  10. That was such a beautiful tribute. Thank you for sharing your brother with us. And the deepest congratulations to the birth of your handsome nephews! God be with Alicia and these gorgeous babies & God bless your brother Josh, I am grateful for his service to our country.

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  11. Oh Lord, I'm sorry, it's late & I misread... congratulations on the birth of your NIECE and your nephew :-)

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