Saturday, July 23, 2011

You’re Not Alone

I have been so hesitate to write much lately because of the embarrassment of having some people read my blog a couple weeks back. People who I made the mistake of writing about when I shouldn’t have--thinking that they wouldn’t be reading it--ignorant of the fact that any one can find and read my posts (whether I want them to or not). I’m still humiliated over the whole ordeal...and amazed at my own stupidity in the situation.

I keep fighting the urge to shut the blog down--to take every rambling post offline. I know it is better to leave it up so that others going through the same things I did can know they aren’t alone. I know that one of the things that helped me through my own surgeries and treatment was reading SIF’s blog, along with many others.

I wish this was a blog about food, or family, or running. I wish I wasn’t blogging about a disease--a very personal disease. I wish I wasn’t documenting every period, each moment of pain, and the realities of endometriosis and Lupron. I wish I wasn’t embarrassed about it all. 

Last night, I received a comment on one of my old post. It was just a little note, telling me that reading has helped her deal with this disease. That’s when I remembered that the pain is somehow helped when you realize that you are not alone. I also remembered how frustrated I was when I could not find any info on training and running on Lupron--and how I wanted to change that. 

I’m getting over my embarrassment in the situation--more aware of what I’m posting on line. 

Thanks for giving me a reminder, Shauna. Keep on keepin’ on, girl. You’re definitely not alone. 


*My never ending period of 5 weeks is still continuing. I woke this morning with a significant amount of cramping and bleeding. Not cool, but it’s gonna be ok. :-)

3 comments:

  1. I think that it is terrible that you feel you can't write the way you used to and I hope someday you will feel free enough too.

    That said...I am so glad you are staying. I would miss you!

    Isn't it wonderful when someone leaves you a comment that makes it all worth it!!

    I hope that every day something reminds you that the blog world needs you!

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  2. Thanks Michaela! I guess it may seem terrible, but the experience taught me a much needed lesson. I always seem to learn the hard way. Ugh. ;-) Thanks for all your encouraging comments too!

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  3. This post made me teary eyed. xoxoxoxoxooxooxoxooxoxo

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