Sunday, June 26, 2011

Back in Sebring

I drove straight to Sebring from Arkansas. I thought I'd fall asleep a few times, but I inhaled coffee and made it. I got to my mom's house just in time. Thomas an Stefan were getting ready to head to the airport in Orlando to pick up Alex (Josh's BFF from Indiana). I was so tired from driving all night, but I had to be with them. When I first saw them, I couldn't stop crying. Maybe it was because I was exhausted. Maybe it was knowing that Josh was really gone. That he wouldn't ever be back to hang out with his best buds and family. Maybe it was just everything hitting home.

On the way to Orlando, we stopped and got the boys some suits to wear for the funeral. I couldn't stop crying. I hate not being strong in front of them. We just held eachother. I needed that. I needed to be with them.

We picked up Alex, trying to keep the mood light. The last time the boys had picked up Alex at the airport, it was for Josh's wedding. How can we not think of these things? Having Alex in the car and back at the house with us helped so much. I guess it is just knowing that we all have eachother that helps.

We picked up pizza and went back home. Some more of the boy's friends came over. Alicia came as well...and made us all smile with her cute baby bump and sweetness. She is so strong and beautiful. I can't imagine what she is going through.

After pizza and time with family, I'm finally going to bed. It's been about 40+ hours since I've slept. I still don't want to think.

This all seems so unreal. I can't believe it is happening. I can't believe he is really gone.

I never would have thought my next visit to Sebring would turn out to be the hardest thing of my life.


  1. I'm so sorry; I hope your family and dear friends find great comfort in each other.

  2. Sorry for your loss. Take care of yourself, you dont always have to be strong just be there for eachother.

  3. I'm so sorry for your loss. Hang in there, we're all thinking about you.