Saturday, May 7, 2011

Down...but not out.

Physically, I feel like a rockstar. I ran 13 miles yesterday and 9 today.

Emotionally, I am falling apart.

And that’s the truth.

I don’t know what my problem is. I’ve been trying to cheer myself up. Listen to Tony Bennet. Enjoy my runs. Look forward to seeing my family in a couple of weeks in Fl.

Nope. Nothing works.

I’ve tried praying. Begging. Pleading.

I’ve hit up the sunshine and pool.

I’ve slept hours upon hours.

But I’m still crying. I’m still lonely. I’m still down.

I don’t understand this feeling, but I know it will pass. I know, as Tony says, “the best is yet to come”.

It must be the hormones. It must be the Lupron. Next wednesday, it will be a month since my last shots.

Why am I not happy? Why am I struggling so much? I’m not in pain. I’m moving around and living life so well. Why am I so sad?

3 comments:

  1. I wish I has an answer for you. I also wish I was there to give you a hug, you really sound like you need one right now. I am glad you get to visit your family soon keep focusing on that xxx

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  2. Its rough weve all been there with stuff like this. I find moments of less pain to where for some reason I am more depressed... its like I am waiting for more bad stuff to come... Good luck girl!

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  3. Thanks for your sweet thoughts and comments, ladies. It helps so much to know that I’m not alone.

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