Saturday, March 26, 2011

Bodily Parts

This is going to be a weird post, but something has been bothering me.

Not pain or nausea. 

My body. 

It seems like such little thing to worry about when I’m pain free and living life outside my room again, but maybe I’m a little vain. 

I’m in my fifth month of Lupron. YES,  I’m feeling better than I have in a very long time. I’m eating all the time. Green beans, snap peas, carrots, apples, oranges, spinach, bananas, mushrooms, lots of mixed nuts, and fish. I am eating veggies and fruit like there is no tomorrow...along with hummus...LOTS of hummus. 

I’m trying to keep my diet pretty clean again. Does it really make a difference? Who knows? But I’ve always tried to be pretty healthy when I can. The past few months have been so crazy with nutrition because I was just trying to keep food down. Now that I’m eating without getting sick, there is no excuse for eating right. Right? I guess it’s rather easy for me to eat “clean” since I crave the good foods, but it’s hard when everyone around me is eating “real” food. 

Anyway, S and I went to meet up with my a friend of mine for her birthday dinner. She is in love with this hillbilly backwoods restaurant that serves all you can eat crab legs. I’m typically not a fan of crab legs (it takes me way too long to eat them and I’m extremely messy from the attempt), but it was her favorite place. And I’ve been eating everything and anything I can lately. 

Ummmmm. What do diets and birthday crab dinners have to do with bodily parts? 

I’m tiny. I feel like my muscle is almost non-existant. Example: I used to wear a 6 in jeans. I’m a 2 now. I used to wear a 34DD bra. YUP. And now.....I’m a 32C. DO WHAT??!??! 



I miss my athletic body. I miss the way my breasts would fill my DD bras and my legs would be so built that you couldn’t pinch an ounce of fat. I miss feeling sexy and strong. Where is all this going??? I don’t really know. I guess to announce that I wore a bra last night that I thought fit me, until I realized later on in the night that my boobs definitely did not fill it in anymore. 

I miss my breasts. I miss my butt. I miss my curves. I’m definitely vain, but it’s the truth

One more month of Lupron....and then I can start filling in my DD bras again....eventually, right?


  1. Oh girl! I wish I could give you some of the 80lbs I gained while on lupron, thats bound to fill ya back out! ;)

    I wish I had your figure! Glad to hear that you found a nice guy.

  2. You still look beautiful but yes, you will fill out again. I did (a little too much) after lupron, surgery, etc. I'm just looking to shed 5 pounds of fat and get some muscle tone but I totally hear you.

  3. Okay, I love you but with the 40 extra pounds I am carrying around courtesy of Fertility Treatments, I'm not feeling sorry for your skinny ass! LOL!! I'm just kidding (kinda) but you look beautiful...always remember that!

  4. Thanks for the encouragement (and laughter). I know the muscle tone will come back...eventually.