Sunday, February 6, 2011

Twizzler season

I woke up at around 3 a.m. absolutely starving. 


Mr. Lou-Pron loves to give me these crazy cravings after waking me up with hot flashes in the middle of the night. 

I went for the twizzlers. I ate about a dozen of them before feeling sick to my stomach, knowing full well that the sugar always back fires on my body. I always feel like pooh after inhaling a whole bunch of sugar. But I  keep eating the junk anyway. 

It’s a huge battle for me to eat right now. The nausea has been knocking me on my butt. I am used to eating nutritious food--veggies, fruit, fish--and taking care of myself. It’s what I do for a living. I train and teach others how to lead a healthy lifestyle. 

But the past few months with Mr. Lou-Pron have me throwing everything up. It seems that the usual stuff I love--like broccoli, green beans, tuna--don’t stay down. With all the running and training that I’m doing, I need calories. I need fuel to push my body physically. I know that I feel horrible when I eat sugar, but it is better than nothing. 

As crazy as it sounds, my biggest obstacle is eating the junk. The day before my 16 mile run last week, I threw everything up that I tried to keep down. I was trying to hard to eat brown rice in an effort to carb up for the run. It resulted in a mess. As I laid on the floor in the bathroom, crying my eyes out because I knew I needed calories, Nee told me over the phone to, “Just eat the twizzlers”

So, I did. And my body kept it down. 

Every day I wake up trying again. Yesterday, I got sick eating an apple for breakfast. The vomiting makes me emotional more than anything because I think about how my body needs fuel. It’s the trainer in me that gets upset. 

After crying my eyes out over the apple, I inhaled a cinnamon roll. 


And I felt just fine--besides the little sugar drag it gives me after the rush. Hormones apparently don’t like diets. 

Then, I got on the treadmill. I ran my 8 miles. 

And I was still fine. 

So what if I am eating junk food? At least I am eating, right? 

It’s so hard for me to process eating junk food as ok in my little trainer brain. But I’m trying. 

Now I’m going to try and eat a banana again so I can take my supplements. But I’m not gonna lie, I just might end up eating the twizzlers or a cinnamon roll instead. 

Just sayin’...

"For everything there is a season, a time for every activity under heaven”. 
~Ecclesiastes 3:1

This might just be twizzler season for me. 

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