Sunday, February 13, 2011

Still clinging to hope

It has been one of those days that fly by, filled with business, but not much to show for it.

I was looking forward to church all week, but it was hard to pay attention in the service. The pain in my ovaries, hip flexors, and back was pretty intense (and still is). The pressure on my bones made it hard to focus on the message. I was still happy to be there though.

I managed to take in a little bit of what was said. I know the sermon was on hope--something that I have been clinging to all my life. 

Hope, even when my family was homeless growing up. Hope during my parent’s bitter fights and divorce. Hope when my wedding was cancelled...twice. Hope when the pain began and the disease was discovered. Hope after surgeries and life on Lupron. Hope, even now. 

"God can do anything, you know—far more than you could ever imagine or guess or request in your wildest dreams! He does it not by pushing us around but by working within us, 
his Spirit deeply and gently within us”.
 ~Ephesians 3:20 (the Message)

"I remember it all—oh, how well I remember— 
   the feeling of hitting the bottom.
But there's one other thing I remember, 
   and remembering, I keep a grip on hope:
God's loyal love couldn't have run out, 
   his merciful love couldn't have dried up.
They're created new every morning. 
   How great your faithfulness!”
~Lamentations 3 (the Message)

"I know what I'm doing. I have it all planned out—
plans to take care of you, not abandon you, 
plans to give you the future you hope for”. 
~Jeremiah 29:11

It has been very dark these past few months, but I can see the sun rising soon. I know there is relief, joy, dreams, and life waiting to overtake me. A great future awaits...just around the corner....I hope. 


  1. I am so glad you are able to find the little glimmer of light. It will start to grow! My prayers are with my my endo sister!

  2. Keep hoping friend... I believe the light is waiting for you to just dance right into it!

  3. THank you so much for your prayers! I’m so ready to dance in the light!