Thursday, February 10, 2011

I’m still an athlete

"I give myself a good cry if I need it.
But then I concentrate on all the good things still in my life.”.
-tuesdays with Morrie by Mitch Albom

I had a good cry tonight. 

I cried over my weakness and inability to perform like the strong athlete that I once was. I cried over broken dreams and lost loves. I cried over loneliness. 

Maybe there was some self-pity involved. But I really didn’t let it last long--I promise. 

After my cry, I bundled up in my winter layers--ready to strip down if the hot flashes hit me suddenly--and walked the hills near the house. It was just a little 2 mile walk, right after a 4 mile jog/walk on the treadmill. Today was a “rest” day on my running. I just wanted to move enough to keep the stiffness out of my legs and get some fresh air. 

country roads on my walk


More country roads...


A beautiful view on my walk
When I got back to the house, exhausted and nauseated, I laid down in physical defeat. I started to wonder how I was going to run the 18 miles this saturday, especially after my fourth round of Lupron tomorrow. 

It is going to be hard, but I can do it! 

I may be weak and slow right now, but I’m still an athlete who is determined to persevere thought the tragedy. Plus, there’s got to be a reason God made me so competitive, stubborn, and crazy with sports. I’m not going to quit running and pressing on just because of the pain.

Last summer after a 150 mile bike ride!

I’m still the crazy trainer and endurance athlete. I’m still the girl who loves to run in 105 degree weather so she sweats more. I’m still the obsessed runner who has plans on running my age in miles every birthday (plus one extra mile to grow on!). I am still the cyclist who biked through 3 states in one stretch. 

Biking thru MO, OK, and AR

I’m still an athlete. Lupron & Endometriosis can’t take that away from me. I may be emotional and stuck in bed some days, but I’m still going to push on.

Last summer--when I had Abs! Ha!

"Strength! Courage! Don't be timid; don't get discouraged. 
God, your God, is with you every step you take.” 
-Joshua 1:9


2 comments:

  1. Damn skippy that Lupron and endometriosis can't take this away from you my friend! You ARE still an athlete, and you are amazing!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Damn skippy. Ha! Love it. Thanks SIF!

    ReplyDelete