Saturday, February 26, 2011

Catching my breath...at last

The past two nights have been filled with so much relief because I have been able to sleep more. I went from 2-3 hours a night--to almost 7! My eyes stopped burning. The nausea was barely noticeable. My body is not having those tremors. I ate all day...because I could. It was glorious!

Yesterday, I hit up the pool. The dreaded pool. I hate swimming with a passion. I used to get panic attacks in the water when I was younger. I always thought something was after me in the water. Crazy, I know, but growing up where there are alligators in the lakes kind of had an effect on me. 

So, I made myself go to this community center--to avoid the stares at a gym when I’m floundering in the water. It was only me and some old ladies in an olympic size pool. And the two lifeguards sitting beside it. I took my dorky swim goggles and towel over to the far side, away from everyone. It was rather hilarious, but nerve-racking at the time. 

I looked pathetic I’m sure, but I kept at it. I was gasping for air like I had asthma. I do that when I run too (since on the Lupron), but it doesn’t bother me. I know my body is working a little extra on that poison, but it freaked me out in the water. I kept telling myself not to have a panic attack to further my humiliation. 

“Breathe, Patty....just breathe”, I told myself over and over. 

Why am I forcing myself in the water again? Well, mainly, I can’t really do a triathlon if I can’t get in in the water and used to swimming. But the other reason is I know it is better for my bones because there is no impact. All the running kind of pounds my body a little. 

Despite all the drama, I survived the pool for 30 minutes. I left the community center almost in tears, with raccoon eyes from the goggles, but I survived. 

Then I headed to get another deep tissue massage. He’s still working on my hips--since they were causing me a lot of pain and immobility on my runs. The sessions are extremely painful, but I can tell it is helping. And I survived that too. 

I got home exhausted from my little activity and took a little time to rest in bed, before heading to Shoguns with my Arkansas family. Kristen was having her sweet sixteen birthday dinner there. I was nervous about eating more--I had been chomping down all day and feeling great--but I was afraid to push it. 

I still pushed it. I felt like Adam Richman on Man vs. Food because I was nonstop. I ordered the veggies and ate like there was no tomorrow. I didn’t get sick. I didn’t throw up. I burped like a sicko constantly, but I was fine (just gross).  

I’m making it through. 

Thank God for the days of relief and the nights of sleep. Thank the Lord for the times when I can eat and live. He is so good. So, so, so good. 

The Little Rock marathon is in 8 days. 

8 days!!!

I am pretty worn out today, but we are running 5 miles. Ohhhhh snap. Thank you Lord for all that Shoguns--I needed the calories to fuel the training today. 

"True to your word, 
you let me catch my breath 


      and send me in the right direction”
~Psalm 23:3 (the Message)




4 comments:

  1. Yay for sleeping 7 hours and being able to eat. You must be so relieved right now. Long may it continue x

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  2. Thanks so much sweetie! I am beyond relieved!

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  3. Awesome that you felt better-I hope that the feeling sticks around!

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  4. SO glad to hear you're getting some sleep friend! Seriously, warms my heart to hear that!

    And, I'm kind of grinning, only because I think we may have found one thing I happen to be more athletic at than you! ;) I happen to be an excellent swimmer, and I love it! I used to swim across the lake by our house and back when I was a kid (and it was a big lake... took me about 45 minutes to do), and then in college I would do 100 laps in the pool at the school gym a few times a week. Swimming is definitely my favorite exercise because of the low impact and the fact that it tones everything... I used to love how my shoulders looked when I was swimming!

    Of course, all the public pools (seriously, like maybe 5 total) in Alaska are nasty and filled with kid urine and I refuse to get in them, so... it's been about 3 years since I've done any swimming at all. Meaning you could probably beat me at that too. But you know... a girl can dream! ;)

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