Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Breathe

Here in Northwest Arkansas, we have been a little snowed in for about 2 weeks now. Much like the rest of the US, winter storms have been sweeping in like crazy, leaving behind massive amounts of snow and ice. Unfortunately, where I live is in the boonies somewhat, where the snow plows don’t visit.

So here we are, week 2, and we are snowed in....again.

STUCK in the snow

My classes have been cancelled every day, but one,  for the past 2 weeks. Life has been at a standstill. And it makes me wonder if God is just telling us in a different way to just stop...and be. 

Breathe. 

Sure, we have a million things to do. We have lists to be made and tasks to be completed. We are rushing around, missing life, while staying busy beyond belief. Maybe the snow days are a good time to rest, reflect, and pause for just a moment on the life that God has given us. 

Breathe. 

This is something that doesn’t come naturally to me. I’m not a “chill” kind of girl. I am an obsessive perfectionist. I freak out about rest. I don’t like to be still--which is one reason I think this past surgery was so hard for me. I have to move. Or at least that is what I tell myself. 

I moved plenty today, despite the snow storm keeping me close to the home. 

I ran 8 miles. It was a struggle. Slow and painful, but I did it. I think what makes it harder than normal is the emotional part of it all. I will be doing just fine, running along, praying & praising, as happy as can be---and then BAM!--it hits me. 

I start sobbing. Yes, while I’m running. It’s like all of a sudden I think, “Patty, you are so much slower than you were before all this surgery and drugs. What is wrong with you?”. I get so down on myself. I focus on my pain and pace because I lose sight of the Lord. I forget all that He has brought me through when I’m crying over how fast I can go. 

It’s a disaster on my runs some days. IThe hormones and pain are hard to deal with. I gasp for air and push to keep up with my former race times. God is definitely taking me through, teaching me to be still, slow down, and just breathe. 

Breathe. 





2 comments:

  1. I wish I could hug you friend... Winter is almost over, and I am choosing to believe that this tough part of your journey is as well...

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  2. Im praying for you and hoping things get easier soon.

    ReplyDelete