Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Patterns

Patterns. 

I hate patterns. Same biology classes. Same Lupron shots. Same jerks. 

I feel like my life has been plagued by ugly repetitions. 

Today was a bad day.  I overslept and missed a training session.  Pain, nausea, and fatigue while I sat in classes I’ve taken before wondering when it will end.  If it will end.

Sometimes I wonder if my whole life will just be the same pattern.  

“I took another walk around the neighborhood and realized that on this earth as it is--
        The race is not always to the swift,
        Nor the battle to the strong,
        Nor satisfaction to the wise,
        Nor riches to the smart,
        Nor grace to the learned.
        Sooner or later bad luck hits us all.”
                            Ecclesiastes 9:11 (The Message)

Even though we have hardship, we don’t always bring it upon ourselves.  It doesn’t mean I’m cursed, or that God is mad at me, or I’m holding unforgiveness in my heart.  Sometimes, stuff just happens.   I spent my whole life trying to live healthfully, and I’m still suffering from sickness right now.  I worked as hard as I could to choose the right classes and receive those transfer credits, but I’m still taking advanced biology, again.  As for the boys, well, I’m chalking that up to the folly of youth.

“...We can be so sure that every detail in our lives of love for God is worked into something good."
                            Romans 8:28 (The Message)

I’m waiting, and trusting, for these ugly patterns to be worked for something good. 



2 comments:

  1. You and me both, Lady. I really hope your tomorrow is better (and the next day, and the next).

    ReplyDelete
  2. Thanks sweetie. I hope and pray you are doing well!

    ReplyDelete