Saturday, January 15, 2011

Bed, treadmill, bed.

I might be a little emotional tonight. I might be really tired and hungry. And I might have overdone it.

Just a bit.

I ran 12 miles today as planned for my marathon training. I thought that I’d be ok. I ran it slow. I paced myself. I finished well. I thought I was just fine.

12 miles!
Until I got home from the gym.

The bone pain in my pelvis and legs became intense. The sharp pains near my ovaries and ribs got worse. The fatigue covered me like a heavy blanket. I felt like my body was being pinned to the ground.

I might have overdone it.

But then again, I felt this sick before the run.

If I’m going to be in pain, I might as well be running in pain. Right?

I made it to the living room floor with my heating pad and stayed still for a good hour. I knew I needed to eat, but the nausea from the Lupron was overwhelming. I was even finding it hard to drink water.

The difficult part of training for this marathon in March has now hit me full force.

It is not the physical pain that will prevent me. I seem to push through that pretty well, as dumb as it may be at times. The most difficult obstacle in this training is going to be recovery.

How will I rest when I can’t sleep on this drug? How will I repair my body when I can’t eat? Will I just be breaking my body down even more if I can’t rebuild?

Isn’t that dumb? Don’t I tell clients that rest is the most important thing when it comes to training? I always stress sleep and proper diet as being vital to rebuild their bodies.

But I can’t do it.

I can’t sleep. I can’t eat. I can’t rest.

My bones hurt. My body aches. I’m tired. I’m hungry.

And I’m whiney.

With all that being said, I’m also emotional.

The first week after a Lupron injection is always the worst for me. At least it is bed, treadmill, bed now. Instead of bed, bed, bed. Right?



"God, listen! Listen to my prayer, 
listen to the pain in my cries. 
   Don't turn your back on me 
      just when I need you so desperately. 
   Pay attention! This is a cry for help! 
      And hurry—this can't wait!”
~Psalm 102




God, we need a cure for this disease.

Please.

2 comments:

  1. I'm so proud of you continuing to push through friend. I hate this drug. I hate it so so much! :(

    ReplyDelete
  2. yes, yes....much better than bed, bed, bed! Bravo chica.

    ReplyDelete