Saturday, December 18, 2010

Fully Alive

"I decided to go for a little run” 
- Forrest Gump

The open road and rolling hills were calling my name today. I think they missed my running shoes just as much as me. After a few hours of fighting the urge, I gave in and headed for a jog. My only hesitation was the incline because of all the hip flexor pain I have had in the past few months. Pain that has left my body for a few days (besides the occasional sting here and there). I was slightly afraid that my push to run would cause the pain to return.

But the worry wasn’t enough to stop me today.

I slipped into my UnderArmour and Nike to combat the chilly December weather. Then I stepped into my beloved running shoes and started out on the country roads. On my way, I took about 100+ pics. I felt some pain, but every step was worth it.

I didn’t run fast, but that doesn’t matter. I finally felt alive. After months and months of the bed or slow treadmill shuffling, I felt like I was breathing again.

"Don't fear moving slowly forward...fear standing still.” 
-Kathleen Harris

"Do or do not. 
There is no try."


"Mental toughness is only the confidence to go on 
when you can't move.”

"Running is the greatest metaphor for life, 
because you get out of it what you put into it."

"You must do the thing you think you cannot do.” 
- Eleanor Roosevelt

I only did 3 miles. I walked some of it. I stopped and took pictures. And I laughed a lot. 

After I got back, I threw up. My hip flexors threatened me a little with pain. My pelvis tried to pressure me. Maybe I did a little too much. 

But maybe that run outside was just what I needed to keep me going. Every step was precious. Every photo gave me another view to hold onto. After months of being attached to my heating pad and staring at the shades in my room.

Do you see why I’m rejoicing with each step? Do you realize why it means so much to me to get out?

The blinds have been my only view, week upon week, as I was stuck in bed. I’d push myself to move. I’d push myself to sit on the ground in the gym, telling my clients what to do. I’m try to go to class, as my core shook me from the pain. I’d be out of bed for a couple of hours at max, then I’d be right back there, wrapped up in my heating pad as I stared at my keyboard and the guitar I wanted to play. 

The pain is mocking me once more, pounding on my bones and core. 

But I don’t care. 

It was worth every ounce of pain right now...just to feel alive again. 

"Every man dies, but not every man really lives.” 
-William Wallace

"Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us.  Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.  Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart"
 – Hebrews 12:1-3

1 comment:

  1. I am so proud of you friend! I wish I could motivate myself to get out and do the same...