Thursday, December 9, 2010

Breakfast on Lupron








It’s nearly 4 a.m. and I am wide awake, eating breakfast. 
Let me assure you, this is not normal. There have been many times in the past when I had to wake early for training, but this is not one of those days. I am not awake because I have to be. 
I am awake because of the severe hot flashes that disrupted my slumber at 2 a.m., leaving me drenched in sweat and tearing off all articles of clothing. Two hours later, I am still awake because of the intense craving I had for something sweet that wouldn’t allow me to sleep. 


So, I had cheerios. 

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Yes, cheerios. The whole grain goodness that claims to lower your cholesterol as you eat. 

I try to ignore the food cravings from the Lupron injections, but it is proving to be as impossible as ignoring the pain that strikes my bones. I’m also trying to ignore the intense hot flashes that soak me in my sleep as I blast the fans on me. I try to fight the fatigue that drags me close to the ground and cover up the nausea that quickly follows all my cravings. 
The side effects are too great for me though. All of my efforts to overcome this drug are failing. How else can I explain my behavior right now? I am laying on my heating pad, eating cheerios, and blogging at 4 a.m. This is not normal.
So, let me try to be positive instead of sweeping the problem under the rug. 


The best thing about cheerios at 4 a.m. is that they are low in calories. Especially because I don’t pour milk with them. No, I simply just eat out of the box. Like a crazy person. Somehow, munching away on little whole grain circles seems to calm my cravings for brownies and ice cream....just enough. 
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Don’t get me wrong, I love eating healthy. I would always eat my green veggies and lean proteins. I still take mountains of supplements every day, along with my veggie/fruit drink. But on the Lupron, I don’t want anything nutritious. I eat the good food just because I know that I should. 


Lupron has turned my world upside down. Even my diet choices are all mixed around. I want empty calories. I want junk food. I want things that normally would repulse me. 
Being the health nut that I normally am, it is not normal for me to be struggling with my food choices. Instead of chocolate though, I eat cheerios. They are my “go to” when I want sugar at 4 in the morning. 
Too much of a good thing can make you sick. Dry cheerios definitely fall into that category. They are yummy for about 5 minutes, and then they start to taste like cardboard. Healthy cardboard, that is. 
Too much of a good thing at insane hours of the night can make you feel like a crazy person as well. Or maybe that is just the Lupron trying to convince my 27 year old body that I’m 55. Either way, something is terribly wrong here. This is not right.
I shouldn’t be eating cheerios at 4 a.m.


I shouldn’t be having hot flashes and pain from a drug that the doctor said would help me. 


I shouldn’t be hurting this badly from a disease that was cut and burned from my insides two months ago.

I should be sleeping.

3 comments:

  1. You should talk to your Dr about something to help you sleep at night. I seriously would go insane if I didn't sleep on top of dealing with all the pain throughout the day. I take ambien every night and I sleep like a baby. I actually look forward to night time because I don't have to think about the pain at all during that time because I am dead asleep.

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  2. Obviously it's probably the last thing you want, but I would almost say you need another lap. To be in this much pain and be on the Lupron just doesn't make any sense to me. It sounds like you haven't had any relief... I feel for you, but that doesn't make the pain go away.

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  3. Erin, thanks for the suggestion. I only take a natural supplement to sleep at night. I do pretty good until I get the hot flashes. Does the Ambien leave you feeling really tired the next day?

    Lenzey, I really do not want another lap, but I get what you are saying. I get more pain right after a shot and then it calms down some. My second shot was last week so I think that is why I’m hurting so much. I have no clue though. I feel like I try to come up with reasons for why I’m hurting, ya know?

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