Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Imagination is Crazy

Today was glorious. It was almost like heaven, I imagine.

Although others may have viewed this day as less-than glorious, or “normal”even, to me it was NOT normal in anyway. It was spectacular and beyond my imagination.

Today, I was almost completely pain-free.

The sharp pains were barely noticeable. The aching in my bones and the shaking in my core were close, but distant. Only the fatigue and nausea were demanding my attention. It was incredible!

My typical Tuesday is usually spent in bed with my heating pad, napping in between clients and classes. But today, my body felt good, so my imagination ran wild.

My day went like this; (yes, i’m actually going to write out my schedule because it is insane that I did so much today. This excitement cannot be contained!).

Proud of my 6 miles!
530 - Woke up & got ready
600 - Trained clients and packed meals
830 - Chiropractor’s office
900 - Kevin’s Office - brought supplements and food
930 - Had a much needed, long over-due hair cut at the salon
1030 - Went to class
100 - Trained clients
200 - Ran 6 miles. Um, seriously!
400 - Studied at the library
530 - Tanned (my white pasty complexion is literally “sick” looking)
600 - Went to softball field (I train a high school team)
700 - Then had dinner with Kay at an Italian Restaurant (Annnnnnnd I ate without getting sick).
1130 Wrote this list on my blog. And got ready for bed!

I can’t even believe that my day was that productive and fun! I look at the whole list and I’m in shock. 

Y’all, I didn’t take one nap! I didn’t lay down with my heating pad once. I didn’t throw up during the day. I didn’t start shaking or falling apart.

It was glorious. Crazy glorious!

Imagine if I could feel this good more often? Imagine what it would be like to make plans with friends and get to go out. And be able to work out without sharp pains and exhaustion. Imagine another day of hair salons and tanning.

Imagine what it is like to be able to forget this disease. To not have a constant reminder of pain. Imagine being healed and free from the damage inside my body. Imagine being able to talk with friends about their babies and not cry. Imagine being able to plan for the future, hope for a family, and dream for my life without doctors telling me otherwise.

Imagine what it is like to be a young female without hot flashes and aching bones. Imagine the glory of being able eat a healthy diet without vomiting and diarrhea. Imagine, just imagine.

Imagine the miracle of carrying a baby in my womb. Imagine the kiss of love from a husband. Imagine a child of my own in my arms. Imagine being called “Mommy”.

Imagine all women being treated respectfully by their doctors. Imagine a diagnosis that doesn’t require surgery. Imagine a treatment that doesn’t cut, burn, and destroy a woman’s insides. Imagine a drug that doesn’t make a young woman feel old and ugly.

Live a glorious day with minimal pain and the imagination runs wild. The possibilities seem endless when the pain is gone.

Imagination is crazy, your whole perspective gets hazy” ~Frank Sinatra

Yes, Frank, I do believe that is true.

Tomorrow, I am having a coffee date with Superman. I’m incredibly nervous, even though we are just getting coffee. I haven’t spent time with just me and a guy in months...and months. 

Mr. Hockey and I dated since February of this year. Too long I suppose. He carried my interest long distance until a month ago. Until he stopped called and caring. 

My second engagement was broken off last November, the Sunday after Thanksgiving. I can’t believe it has been almost a year since I was planning a wedding.

I still have mini panic attacks on random occasions when I realize my ring is missing off my finger, believing for a split second that I lost it. 

But then I quickly come to my senses and remember that I gave it back. My finger is supposed to be bare. My rings are supposed to be gone. Long gone. 

Crazy how life changes so quickly. 

My days went from good to bad to worse in a year. 

And today it was glorious. 

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