Saturday, October 9, 2010

Bring on the post-op pain and training!

Okay, so yesterday I was feeling pretty sorry for myself.

Yeah, I know this.

I know the pity party is noticeable in my blog titled “babies everywhere”.

Some days and nights are harder than others. I was in some serious pain yesterday. Serious pain always makes me depressed. Discouraged. Hopeless. It’s a reminder of the struggles and fight against this disease in my life.

Endometriosis is a war against hope really.

So how can someone as competitive and strong as I am get defeated from a pain battle? How can I allow my hope to be stolen in a night?

I CAN’T! I won’t back down. I’m ready for the next battle. I’m ready to get out of bed today. I’m even off the percocet today. The pain I feel post-op is nothing compared to the sharp pains of endo before. Life is better post-op.

‘Cause I have more hope. I feel “fresh” and “clean” again. I feel normal. I feel “endo-less”. My ovaries aren’t stuck anymore! The adhesions and endo have been cleaned out!

I’ve got hope that maybe the pain will never return and maybe I’ll have a baby one day.

Sure, I’m single right now.

Yes, I’m a private personal trainer and a student. Therefore, I have no social life, no time, and no way of meeting a man.

But I have hope today because now I have more time.

"More time?!?!? You’re 27! Take a chill pill! You’ll get married and have a baby someday!”

That’s what I hear the world saying...

But most don’t know that I have a disease inside of me that is chipping away at my biological clock.

Most don’t know that I have been engaged twice. And cheated on.

Surgery gives me more time to hope.

Lord knows I needed this. I needed hope today.
Check out this video - “You never let go” - David Crowder Band. I’m pretty sure I listen to this song a million times a day.

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